Place Them In a Box Until a Quieter Time.

When I was a senior in high school, a group of my friends and I escaped from prison and crashed a Dave Matthews Band concert at the New Orleans Jazz Fest.

Just kidding about the prison part.

Needless to say, being the bunch of wild and crazy kids we were, we had an absolute blast. Dave was always in my tape player (yes, I'm totally dating myself here by saying I owned a tape player). I also had a mad crush on the man. Not only was he sexy as all get out, his voice was unique and his song lyrics were brilliant. What's not to love?

Fast-forward 13 years.

Add a few more wrinkles to my face.

A few more dimples to my ass.

A wedding band to my left ring finger.

And you have ME on Sunday.

Same place, same time, same band, same me - different group of people, but it was just as fantastic!

Let's get started with pictures, shall we?

Let me give you a bit of a warning, mmkay?

I am white. I'm talking one shade from albino, Casper is my best friend, milk laughs at my whitness white. I've come to terms with this over the years. To protect my flourescent white skin, I must wear 2,000 proof sunscreen along with every ridiculous sunhat on the market. I'd like to keep from looking like a leather bag for as long as possible, so I deal.

Here's my dislcaimer to you: In the following pictures, I will be wearing a ridiculous sunhat - the kind that 80 year old Boca Raton, FL residents wear on a daily basis. This is also my PSA to WEAR SUNSCREEN and take care of your skin. Louisiana is nestled in the armpit of the sun, so it's a must.

On with it.

Here we are starting our day. You’ll note that Joe is a Fun Guy and my afro has roots that would do any PWT (poor white trash) person proud.

The entrance to the Jazz Fest. They used my body silhouette to make that purple dancing thing.

As luck would have it, we all had to pee as soon as we got there. Oh joy. Port-O-Pots. Here’s my sister showing her disdain.

Here's Better than Ezra's tour bus.

This is Dave’s tour bus. I stood outside stalking him most of the day. I think he was scared to get off of the bus for a while.

I have no idea who the hell these people are. This random picture was on my camera, so I figured I’d post it here.

Since we were special guests of Acura, we were able to get past the barbed wire fence and ravenous dogs to get a closer look at the stage!

Since my husband and I are Mr. and Mrs. Klassy with a kapital K, we decided to take this lovely photo. My grandma hat makes it even more klassy.

BTW, see how close to the stage we are?!

My sister and me.

Here I am with Dave’s body guard. I was very brave to stick out my tongue like that. He didn’t laugh. I cried a little.



This is the only picture I have of Dave. I have to actually be honest here – another person took this. My lame ass left my camera with Joe while my sister and I went to get some food. On our way back, Dave was out of his bus signing autographs. We ran to get our cameras, but by the time we got back, he’d already gone back in. The nice girl standing next to me was able to get this shot of him, and she sent it to me.

Anyone recognize this man? Anyone? Anyone? Yes, it’s Red Forman from That 70s Show. For some odd reason he was on Dave’s tour bus. When he got off of the bus, I was the only idiot in the crowd shouting for him. The only problem is I don’t know the actor’s name. I only know him by Red. He turned to wave at me and was then kinda like, “WTH?”

I didn’t care – I still wanted a picture with him! Like any girl with no self-respect, I ran up to him and begged for a picture. He obliged. I think I scratched his retina with my dorky black hat. After waiting for Dave for 30 or so more minutes, I decided to head back. Better than Ezra was playing at the time, and they were doing a fantastic job. I missed most of their set, but I did get to hear a few songs. Oh, and I got to take this picture when they were done…

Recognize this guy? He’s Tom Drummond from Better Than Ezra. I promise.


Here he is performing at another concert. It looks like he’s wearing the same shirt?

Finally Dave comes out to play.

And play some more (sorry for the blurriness and the random hands)

The highlight of the show was standing behind Crystal Gail and getting knotted up in her hair.

So, all in all it was a great and tiring day. We were there from pretty much the time the gates opened to the time when they closed. We were so exhausted at the end of the day but running on a DMB high (and also b/c I got to meet Red and the Better Than Ezra dude).

That is all for now. I have some video that I may upload later. We shall see!

Extra Extra.

I haven't written a blog in quite some time, so I thought I'd chime in about some recent happenings in my life. I know you guys and gals sit in front of your computer monitors 24/7 just waiting for me to churn out another of my marvelous blog entries. Wait no more, my friends, I'm back, and I'm fierce!

"Unfortch" (word shamelessly stolen from Pink is the New Blog), going forward this entry will pale in comparison to my magnificent opening paragraph, but at least I hooked you in the beginning.

On with it...

So, this past Saturday was my 10 year high school reunion. That's shocking for two reasons: 1) I can't believe I'm already old enough to be attending a 10 year high school reunion and 2) I can't believe I'm already old enough to be attending a 10 year high school reunion. I was quite surprised at how great a time I had. With the exception of feeling awkward for most of the night, Joe and I really enjoyed ourselves. It was nice to see some of my old friends and to catch up on our lives. The only issue I had was the constant series of obligatory questions that everyone asked:

- "How have you been?"
- "Where do you live now?"
- "How many children do you have?"

The third question got me the most. By the end of the night, I was almost apologetic for not having a gaggle of children. I was one of only three couples there who were childless, and two of those couples were newlyweds.

So, where does that leave me? Let's just say I'm starting to feel some pressure. I'm 28 and a few months old, I still have no desire to have children and I'm not really sure if I will ever want a child. Houston, we have a problem! Or do we? Who says you have to have a houseful of snot-nosed children to be happy in life? Who says that? If you can find me the person who says that I'll give you a $100 reward and a stick of gum - sugar-free gum for all you dieters out there.

Maybe I'll change my mind over the next few years. I know my mom's praying for that, and I'm sure Joe is praying for that as well. He's still on the fence about the child issue - his fence separates daddy-hood from corvette/camaro-hood. Methinks he'll choose the car, but I could be wrong.

So, aside from my child issues, I had an excellent time at my reunion. There were a few awkward moments throughout the night, but it was all bearable. I did find it shocking that half of the hard-bodied jocks of my class put on about 10,000 lbs. collectively.

Next...

Joe and I are off to Houston on Friday for the American Idol concert (Sat. night). I'm really looking forward to just getting out of town for a few days. Hopefully I'll be able to score some awesome pictures like my friend Jill did (check out her slideshow). We have third row seats, so I'm hoping to get some great shots. With our luck, we'll be behind a 7', one-ton man and only get to see the show from the big screens on stage. Isn't that always the case?

On a lighter note, one of my cats is crapping outside of the litter box now.

That is all.

Dead Zones.

I do what I can to stay sharp mentally - I always keep up with the latest celebrity news and gossip, I watch tons of informative TV shows like Cops and Reno 911, I spend countless hours playing computer Solitaire and Free Cell, you know, all the stuff that keeps our brains in tip-top shape. ;) However, as I age, I've noticed something that's somewhat alarming...

...my "dead zones" are starting to occur more frequently.

What are dead zones, you may ask?

Come along, and I'll explain.

Have you ever been approached by an old high school chum, you know, your best bud with whom you shared many happy memories? As you two catch up on the good ol' days, you sit back and try to jog your memory to keep up with the stories your friend is spewing out. There's one problem, though - half of the stories you're hearing about mustn't have involved you because surely you'd remember them, right? Your friend swears up and down that you were there, you did play an active role in the situation, and that s/he can't believe you don't remember - how dare you!

This, my friend, is a dead zone.

Legal definition of dead zone: periods of time that your brain has mis-filed into some arbitrary filing cabinet that's buried and stored away from the rest of the useless data that our brain retains. Some dead zone cabinets contain small file folders of data, mine contains at least 2 tons of data (perhaps more).

Dead zones aren't always about stories from our past. Dead zones can also include the following:

1) Forgetting how to spell simple words like cat or dog
2) Forgetting when your own birthday is and how old you really are (although sometimes this is intentional)
3) Forgetting how to form a complete
4) Sentence
5) Forgetting the name of your first born, or, on a lesser scale, your husband.

The list goes on and on; however, I'm experiencing a dead zone right now and can't remember what else should be on the list.

In all seriousness, I have noticed a pretty serious decline in my mental capacity. I read papers that I wrote while I was in college, and I'm truly amazed that I was able to articulate my thoughts onto paper so well (sorry if that sounds like I'm bragging). Now I find that I have a hard time writing a complete sentence much less a 20 page paper on King Lear.

My fear is that this decline will keep happening and I won't be able to tie my shoes by the time I'm 40. What if that happens? What if Joe won't tie my shoes for me? I guess I'll have to purchase velcro shoes like I had when I was in the first grade. They were very sexy shoes - gray velvet with pink velcro straps.

Please tell me how I can remember that useless bit of information but I can't remember my senior prom?

Oy vey!