Prior to this challenge, opening a microwave required too much effort. To say that I'm totally out of my element here is the biggest understatement of the year. This leads me to believe that some cosmic forces must've joined recently. I figured I should start this challenge out very slowly since I am a novice and all. Why not make a pot of chili? It was 80 degrees outside which is cold by Louisiana standards - what better way to warm your soul than with steaming bowl of spicy chili. Sounds good in theory, doesn't it? The execution wasn't as pleasant. For starters, here's some raw meat mixed with onions. Simple enough. Now that I no longer have to chop the onions myself - thanks to my lil' Black & Decker processor - my life is much easier.
After the meat was fully browned, I added the following:
- 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
- 7000 teaspoons of garlic salt
- 2 1/2 cups tomato sauce
- 1 (8 ounce) jar salsa
- 4 tablespoons chili seasoning mix
- 1 (15 ounce) can light red kidney beans
- 1 (15 ounce) can dark red kidney beans
Looks pretty enough, doesn't it? That's b/c I added tons of water to it. Ya know water totally covers up any salt issues you may have. Yeah, I didn't believe it when I said it out loud either. So, my chili was ruined, but perhaps if I added tons of cheese to it, Joe would be none the wiser. Prior to serving it to Joe, I thought I'd make some cornbread. Yum, cornbread. I don't have any cupcake cups, so I decided to make it in a pan - a pan that was too big for it - a pan I forgot to grease. This is the end result of that fiasco.
Lovely, it all stuck to the pan. It was as flat as a pancake. It broke two of my teeth.
Eh, who cares - why not serve it to Joe anyway? Cut it up in very artistic shapes, plate it to make it look really nice, and he'll be none the wiser. Throw some cheese on the Salt lick chili and wala! After a painful 10 - 15 minutes of watching Joe die of dehydration, I decided to put him out of his misery and ask him if it was too salty. He looked at me with a scared look in his eyes and muttered "Just a little bit" - what a trooper, eh?
Fast forward a bit... While I was cleaning the dishes in the kitchen, I decided to feed a few of the cornbread scraps to Cosmo. I know, I'm an awful pet mom. After breaking two of his teeth on the bread, he can no longer close his mouth. This is his permanent expression now.
To add insult to injury, I walked into the bathroom after the dishes were put away and Joe was gulping water from the faucet. Yes, it was that bad. Moral of the story - next time you oversalt a dish, throw it out. With the exception of the salt, the chili was actually excellent. I think I'll make it again one day but remember which end is up on the salt shaker! Here's the link to the recipe for anyone who is interested: