House O' Horrors.

I've purchased the Money Pit.

I'm serious.

It was all shiny and pretty and new and glorious. Now here I am, two years later, sleeping on my sofa, drenched in sweat, sliding down my hallway on pools of sweat like I'm riding a magic slip-n-slide.

I live in a very hot area that is known for having miserably hot summers and relentless humidity. Couple that with a defective A/C unit, and you have a home that would make Satan sweat.

It's aggravating. We're outside of the 1 year Homeowner's warranty, of course, so any labor fees that will be incurred while the A/C guy is fixing our unit will come out of our own pockets. So much for Anna's college fund. (Just kidding.)

Truth be told, the A/C has never worked properly. We've just been putting band-aids over it hoping it'll last just one more year. It makes no sense to us why we're even having to deal with this right now since everything is, ahem, BRAND NEW! Ugh! Cheap American crap (as my late grandfather used to say)!

So, while I'm sitting here in my air-conditioned office at work, I'm just hoping and praying that the A/C guy can 1) fix our unit today and 2) not charge us a fee that will send us into bankruptcy.

Money Pit reason #2:

After the A/C man leaves, I will have to call a Sears guy to come out and repair our oven. It doesn't bake. Isn't that it's main purpose in life? To bake? It's two years old, I never bake, why is it already broken?

It's quite ironic how badly you miss something once you realize it's no longer working. Case in point, I wanted to make brownies the other day. I knew the oven was broken but had a brain fart at that exact moment and began to make the brownies. Halfway through I realized, DOH, my oven is broken. Nixed that idea. Now all I want to do is bake. I want to make cookies, and pies and cakes and brownies and casseroles and everything else that can be baked simply because I can't. It's driving me crazy.

My whole house is driving me crazy.

Oh, and when I was opening the attic stairs, I wasn't paying attention and the staircase fell on top of my head. So, not only was I hot and sweaty, I was also partially catatonic from the head injury. Good times.

I will post lots of pictures from the 4th once I can stomach sitting in my home office. I tried to upload the pictures yesterday and nearly passed out from the heat - and I'm not being dramatic.

On top of all the madness, I found a little stray kitten yesterday who desperately needs a home (that I can't provide). Any takers? Major karma points for you!

Edited to add: I just read this entry and realized how uber negative it sounds. You'd be negative, too, if you woke up in your own pool of sweat. ;)