Weaner.

Since becoming a mother, I’ve adopted the “never say never” mentality.  I’m more of a “whatever works at this very moment, go for it” type of mom.  So, that’s why we started giving Anna a pacifier when she was just a few minutes old.  Nah, days.  It kept her from screaming.  It allowed me to hold on to the last ounce of sanity I had.  Win-win, right?

Once the sleep deprivation and hormonal outbursts of early motherhood wore off, I continued giving Anna a pacifier because, hey, she liked it.  Who am I to withhold likeable stuff from my child?

So, now here we are.  I have an almost 2 year old pacifier addict.  We’ve begun the weaning process, and it’s been a very slow and very painful ordeal.  First action, take the paci away from her during the day.  Most days, this works just fine.  Other days, she walks out of her room or another room in the house with a random pacifier that I thought was lost.  How she finds them is beyond me.  She’s like a hound dog with a buried bone.  She can sniff out a pacifier from a 3 mile radius. 

If she doesn’t find one of her own pacifiers, she’ll steal her cousin Jackson’s pacifiers.  It’s always humorous to see my large child sucking on a 0-3 month sized pacifier.  It’s barely big enough to cover her mouth, but she doesn’t care.  She’d suck on a clothes pin at this point because that’s how addicted she is.

If I catch her with a pacifier during the day, she has started doing one of two things:

1) She covers it up with her Dot so as to throw me off.  I mean, no way could she be hiding a pacifier behind her Dot, right?  Smart girl.  Dumb mom.
2) She shoves it down her shirt and sucks it through the fabric.  I walked up to her the other day and noticed she was sucking on her shirt.  When I looked more closely, I noticed the familiar outline of a pacifier nipple.  I give her props for being so inventive, but she clearly didn’t think that would fool me.  Well, OK, it almost did.

I’ve cut off the tips.  She won’t take those, but she begs for another pacifier, so then I’ve ruined a pacifier and can’t find another one.  The screaming ensues.  I go crazy.

So, here’s where we are today:

Anna will sometimes go the entire day without a pacifier, if she finds a random one lying around the house, she will suck it through her shirt. Mom = 0, Anna = 1

She is doing OK with riding in cars without a pacifier.  As long as she has a mouth full of goldfish, she’s golden.  Mom = 1 point, Anna = 0

At night she still requires a pacifier to go to sleep.  If it falls out of her bed in the middle of the night, she can self-sooth and fall back asleep without one .  Mom = 1 point, Anna = 1

So, right now we’re tied 2 to 2.  My goal is to actually win this war.  I need suggestions from the other mothers who have gone through this hell.  I’d really like to have a paci-free child by her 2nd birthday.  So, we have 2 months.

Then on to potty training.  One thing at a time, folks.

 
For the record, Anna actually did all of this AFTER I wrote this blog.  I promise.

Here’s a video of her hiding it in her shirt.

Here’s a video of her covering it up with Dot.