Your introduction to Piggy’s Place.

So, I know I’ve been MIA lately, but I have a good excuse this time.  I’ve been toiling away all night (into the early morning hours) making some bows for my new Etsy store – Piggy’s Place.  I’m having a blast making the bows, and I have plans for so much more for my store.  I’m currently working on a bunch of new items to list, so please keep checking back. 

If you see anything you like, please let me know!  I need to make a few sales to show my husband that my late nights and lack of attention are worth it.  Help a sister out, please.  If you don’t need hair bows, please pass along my store link to someone who may like what I have to offer.

I will also do custom orders and wholesale orders.  Just let me know what you want, and I’ll see what I can do!

Here’s a sampling of some of the items that are available right now:

Here’s the direct link: Come to Piggy’s Place

Love,
Mrs. Piggy Porkchop

A special surprise.

Back in September of this year, Anna christened her toilet.  Since then, she has not had a repeat performance.  That’s OK, though – I’ll let her decide when she’s ready to really potty train.  She is more aware of her bodily functions now and will tell me when she pees and poops, so I know it’s just a matter of time.

And I’m sure all of you are just thrilled that I shared that tiny little tidbit of my child’s life.

So, in line with the thinking that Anna is more aware of what the toilet is and what goes into it, I walked into the bathroom the other day and found this:

Disclaimer: I added the black bars because Anna’s doll is very modest and would not appreciate having her plastic parts displayed all over the Interwebs.

I think Anna’s doll is more ready than she is.  And more limber.

Oh, and her newest favorite game is taking off her diaper and putting various toys into the diaper.  Today’s toy of choice – a 2 inch cow.

To kill a hummingbird.

I love birds.  I mean, as long as they’re not pooping on my head, I think they’re great.  They sing pretty.  They fly around and look pretty in the sky.  Some of them are really pretty colors.  What’s not to love?

So, being a friend of birds, I try my best to ensure their safety.  I once rescued a bird that knocked itself out when it flew into a window.  By the time I put it in a box (with breathing holes, of course) and took it to the wildlife rescue in my town, it had regained consciousness and nearly made me have my own bird droppings when it flew out the box at the rescue place. 

I guess sometimes birds can be scary.

Like when they’re in your garage and totally panicked because they’re too dumb to figure out how to get back out the way they flew in.

Here’s the dumbest (and cutest) bird on the planet – my little hummingbird.

This hummingbird graced us with its presence for a full 2 hours this past Saturday.  He was flying around like a rabid bird, knocking himself against our garage ceiling and screaming out in fear. 

Being the natural rescuer that I am, I went into rescue mode and decided to try to gently steer the bird in the right direction.  I fashioned my own catcher net out of a mosquito helmet and a dowel rod.


The net looked something like this. Imagine it attached to a long stick.  You can just call me MacGyver.

So, I start waving this ghetto net around trying to reign the bird in.  Each time I got close to the bird, it flew off as quickly as it could, and I was left standing there holding a mosquito helmet attached to a dowel rod.  Asshat of the century.

I saw the poor bird up close, and it was obvious that my presence (and Anna’s constant screaming “BIRDDDDDDDDD”) was making it a little more panicked.

 

I decided to leave it alone, but first Joe snapped some photos just incase we needed them for evidence.  I believe killing a hummingbird is a federal offense, but don’t quote me on that.

Here’s our bird.  His name is Dumb and Dumberer.

Here he is right after I gave him the scare of the century by trying to murder him with my mosquito net and dowel rod.

Here is he resting after being chased down by a psychotic animal lover.

All he can think to himself is – please leave me alone, psycho.

You’ll be glad to know that a friend of his eventually flew into our garage to help point him in the right direction.  Shortly after he saw his friend exit, he followed suit and was able to enjoy the rest of the day.  Or hibernate the rest of the day because I’m sure I exhausted him with my mosquito net and dowel rod.

Kissing cousins.

My nephew Jackson got a little fresh with Anna at his 4 month photo shoot, but it was all in fun, and the pictures of them turned out so precious.  I had to share!

And, yes, I realize that Anna wears this outfit in almost every photo I post on here.  It’s quite embarrassing once I realized just how much I put her in this outfit.  Oh well, she looks cute in it, so bite me.  ;)

Jackson is getting fresh.  Anna is shocked.

Anna was like, you better step away little dude!

Now Anna is getting fresh. 

What is Anna looking at, you might ask?  Well, a dog.  A huge dog.  A dog whose ass was prominently featured in this photo.  Thanks to a little PhotoShopping, one would never know.  Well, now all of you know because I have a big mouth. 
  Yep, the dog ass was still there.

The dog ass is finally gone. 

At the car wash.

Last night I had the bright idea to bring Anna with us to wash the car.  Being the lazy people we are, we go through the automatic car wash because that’s the easiest way to get your car to shine with the least amount of effort.

In my mind, Anna would squeal and clap and giggle each time the little flappy things came across the window.  What’s not to love?  There are lots of loud, scary noises, a hose shoots water and colored soap at your window at high rates of speed, then you can’t see out your windows and the claustrophobia starts to set in, the power blower shakes your car and makes it sound like you’re in the midst of a tornado.  This is all fun stuff for a 2 year old with a fear of the unknown, right? 


Big fat fail.

From the moment the car wash started, we were in for 4 minutes of pure hell and terror.  And now probably 30 years of follow-up therapy to un-do the damage we inflicted on our child. 

As each new cycle began, Anna became more and more hysterical.  I sat in the back seat holding her hands and assuring her that everything was OK while Joe sat in the front shaking his head and probably thinking that I’m mom of the year for even suggesting this fun family outing.

So, moms and dads, think before you leap here.  Maybe Anna is just a special case, but I do believe that taking a two year old to a loud, automatic car wash is as smart as building your house on the edge of an eroding cliff. 

My goals and a re-cap.

Here was my goal for the month of October:

Write a blog every single day.

We’re on day 5 and nada. 

I should aim lower in life.  Like maybe write one blog entry for the entire month – that seems more logical and do-able.

I have lots to talk about, lots of videos and pictures to post yet I never find the time and/or desire to blog.  I’m in a rut, and I hate being this way.  I love my blog, and I look forward to the day when Anna is old enough to read it and can read stories about herself and laugh at the embarrassing photos I post of her.  Or cry.  My guess is she’ll cry.  This is why:

Blackmail photo 1:  Too much egg nog.

Blackmail photo 2: Fork in socket.

Blackmail photo 3: One of these things is not like the other.

Blackmail photo 4: I don’t want no stinkin’ peas.

So, as I mentioned in my last entry, I managed to make it safely to Fort Myers, Florida for my girls’ weekend get together.  I had an absolute blast!  However, I think my proudest accomplishment besides getting down with Grandma Moses and the Mosettes (I’ll explain in a minute), is that I was able to conquer my fear of flying.  By the end of my vacation, I was a flying pro.  I didn’t even feel the need to drink copious amounts of alcohol by the last flight.  We took off and landed, and the entire time I was deeply engaged in my copy of OK Magazine. 

I actually can’t wait to fly again.  This, my friends, is miraculous. 

So, here’s Ft. Myers, FL.  Stunning, ain’t it?

View from the condo.

Just chilling out the first night in the condo.  It was so great to be together again.

The next day we waited for Lisa and Marcia to arrive.  While Beth and Kelly were on their way to pick them up, we scurried around the condo decorating for Beth’s “21st” birthday.


  Both Beth and her noodle were very surprised!

We spent the rest of the day just catching up and chilling by the pool.  We didn’t take too many pictures because we all had a “Don’t take any photos of us in bathing suits” clause. 

10 of us had to get ready in a 2 bathroom/2 bedroom condo, and we somehow miraculously were able to get out of the condo in time to go out and have a fun night out.

Here we are looking our best:

Here we are at the restaurant right before we started dancing with the Grandma and Grandpa Moses crew.  They were quite amazing!

See the elderly lady in the blue?  She was in her late 70s/early 80s and she could drop it like it’s hot.  True story.  She danced with us the entire night. 

PSA:  I like the tambourine.  Everywhere we go, I always manage to find one and play it.  It’s just a little thing I do.

Dusty is holding my leg while I do the Elaine.  I have taught Anna this dance.  She has perfected it. 

Then we sang Happy Birthday to Beth, and the singer decided to play a little Sweet Home, Alabama for her.  Perfection!

You can clearly see Grandma in this clip.  I just loved her.

After we danced our little hearts out, we tried some other places, but nothing was as fun as that little restaurant.

We headed to the beach where there was a frat party.  Little did these people know that half of us could probably be these kids’ parents.  Well, that is if we lived in Jerry Springer land.  Anyway, boy did we feel out of place, but it was fun being around the young folk again.

Some random fire guy wanted to use me as his human torch.  I obliged ‘cause I’m fun like that.

 

Why do I always attract guys who like to play with fire?

So, being the wild and crazy girls we are, we all decided to turn in after the blazin’ beach party.  We were all up way past our bedtime. 

The next day we went to Sanibel Island and spent the entire day in the gulf.  Although the water was a little murky, it was still beautiful, and I didn’t feel one nasty thing touch my leg the entire time.  That’s comforting to me.

We even saw a school? of dolphins (bunch, group, litter) very close to where we were swimming.  I’d just watched a show about how dolphins can be aggressive, so I really wanted to power swim to the shore, but I put on a brave face and managed to stay in the water.

Here we are on our way into the beach area.  We were all sweltering hot and didn’t want to take the photo, but now we’re all glad we did b/c it turned out cute!

As I mentioned before, our beach pictures are limited due to our no camera clause, so just use your imaginations.  We’re all Victoria’s Secret models with bangin’ bods! 

That night we watched the Auburn/Clemson game and just chilled around the condo.  The next morning we got up early to get ready to go home.  It was a bummer that we had to leave since we had such an amazing time, but we all know that we’ll meet again soon. 

And that’s my trip! 

And I’m proud that I finally wrote a blog entry.

And I hope that at least one person reads this.

And goodbye.