Littlest Loser.

Things get lost very easily around my house.  For example, after months of actually having to get up to press “play” on the DVD player, Joe finally decided it would be in our best “let’s be as inactive as possible” interest to buy a universal remote control to use with the DVD player.  That way, we can permanently affix our butts to the sofa to watch movies instead of actually having to, shudder, get UP and press play or pause.  Not more than one hour after spending $10 on the remote, I removed a sofa cushion to look for something else that had been lost (ahem, my cell phone), and, voila, the DVD player remote sat there staring back at me with relief that it had finally been found. 


Moving along to my cell phone.  My cell phone is my sidekick, my wingman, my right brain.  So, when it goes missing, I hit panic mode.  As luck would have it, my phone went dead right around the time I last saw it.  I wreaked havoc on my house trying to find it.  Lifting the entire sofa, searching through Anna's toy boxes, checking out the refrigerator and freezer (hey, this has happened before) – it was nowhere to be found.  I went the entire night and the rest of the next day without my phone.  By the end of the day, I looked like this:



I needed my phone.  And I needed it before they locked me away in a padded cell somewhere.  So, I went on a search mission once again.  I prayed to baby Jesus.  I prayed to the saint who helps you find lost things – not even sure what his name is.  My prayers must’ve worked because I suddenly had the urge to do laundry.  This is nothing short of miraculous, so I went with that feeling.  Wouldn’t you know that my cell phone was buried at the bottom of my laundry hamper.  How did it get there, you ask? 

From my littlest loser, my spawn, my Anna Kate. 

She loves taking things that aren’t hers and hiding them in spots that make no sense at all.  She did the same thing with her BFF Dot.  In the midst of a teething spell, Anna wakes up screaming, begging for Dot.  She has Dot #2 (identical to Dot #1, but she can totally tell it’s an imposter), but it just won’t do.  Joe and I are searching around our house at 3 a.m. trying to find this blasted blanket while Anna screams in the background.  It was a fun night, one that is permanently seared into my mom brain. 

Dot was lost for about a week.  I’d given up on ever finding her.  Anna was getting used to #2.  Life was good.  Then Anna’s sitter, Liz aka Lil’ Bit, tells me that she found Dot in her laundry hamper.  Once again, my child took her laundry fetish to the extreme and buried her lovey in the midst of some dirty laundry.  Why she does this, I’ll never know.  Let’s hope this is some foreshadowing of our future – maybe she’ll help me with the huge piles of laundry that we always seem to have. 

So, here's my warning to any of you who may meet my child or who are around my child from time to time, hide your special belongings. Keep them far, far away from my little loser. If not, your watch, car keys, cell phone, hair clips, wallet and any other item small enough to fit in my child's hands will end up in a pile of dirty clothes. Who wants to carry keys that have been next to Anna’s sweaty socks?