Dr. Google.

Admittedly, I am a bit of a hypochondriac.

Dull headache? It's a tumor.
Pain in my stomach? It's a baby.
Blurred vision? It's eye cancer.

I'm not really sure why I'm this way, but I'm willing to bet it stems from my hypochondriac mother. That's just a guess.

So, it's always fun when I innocently Google some random symptom for something I'm feeling, hearing, smelling, seeing.

Here's how it usually goes down...

Hangnail.  Innocent enough.  Certainly there's an easy solution.  Something not too painful.  Something that I won't need copious amounts of prescription narcotics for, right?

Let's see what Wiki, the authority on all things factual, says:













::If you ignore a hangnail, you will get gangrene in your finger and eventually die a penniless, fingerless loser::

I feel the blood rise.  My heart starts pumping.  I'm going to lose a finger?  I will die penniless?  It's a harmless hangnail.  Isn't it? 

I start writing out my will while my finger is still in non-gangrenous working order.  I divide my penny between my child and my husband.

Then I sue Google for freaking me the hell out! 

Let this be a little PSA for you guys and girls.  DO NOT GOOGLE DISEASE STUFF!  You will freak yourself out unnecessarily and get a finger amputated for no darn reason.  Don't tell me that I never taught you anything.  You can take this to the bank, my friend.

I'm off to go soak my finger in epsom salt now.  That's what the people on Yahoo! answers advise.