It’s the devil.

Below is a short list of some of the people, places and things I often equate to the devil. 

• Anna when she’s teething.

• My cat Chloe when she’s puking on my carpet.

• The IRS.

• People who kick puppies.

• Target.

Most of these make sense to the average Joe.  Teething children, puking cats, the IRS, puppy kickers – well, we all know how devilish they can be.  We weep and gnash our teeth and pray that the Lord God Almighty will rescue us from these abominations.  So, where does Target come into play here?  Keep reading.

I’ll be completely candid and say that I hate shopping.  I hate crowds, I hate digging through endless racks of over-priced clothing, I hate spending money I don’t have on clothes I don’t need, and I hate the intense buyer’s remorse I have after I leave.  So, then will someone please explain to me why I can go into Target for a tube of toothpaste and walk out $100 poorer with bags full of scented candles and scrapbook paper and Scene It DVD games and throw pillows for a bed I don’t make and clothes for a child who could wear something new everyday and not wear the same thing? 

This is why I think Target is the devil.  They trick you with their bright lights and colorful displays.  The aisles and aisles of “must have”  items that entice you with their sheen.  The sales displays at the end of each aisle that make you scratch your head and ask yourself, “Self, is $4.99 REALLY a good deal for this lemon zester?”  Heck yes it is – throw it in the cart even though you have four at home already.  I lose all self-control.  I become a slave to Target.  I’m their pawn, they’ve hooked me, now I am theirs for eternity.  Target, I can’t quit you.