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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Baby swim fail.

I’m a new mom. I make mistakes. Sometimes my mistakes are less than brilliant. Like today, for example. I thought it would be fun to buy a kiddie pool for Anna, have her take a dip, take some cute photos, and then call it a day. Easy peasy, right? Yeah. Some cruel and unusual person has kidnapped my sweet baby and replaced her with something similar to demon spawn. I know that’s awful to say about my child, but I have no other way to describe it other than to say the personality change reminds me of the little girl on the Exorcist. The only thing she hasn’t done is projectile barfed pea soup. When that happens, I’m calling the local priest. I have his number on speed dial for situations such as this.

I kid, I kid.

In actuality, I'm in teething hell. Or rather, Anna is in teething hell which means I'm also in teething hell right along with her. So, why not dress her up in an uncomfortable bathing suit, a hat (which she hates wearing) and put her in a swimming pool that she’s never seen. A pool that, to be quite honest, is pretty darn scary looking. Here’s the pool:


So, let's get some cute bathing suit shots before going outside. Say cheese!


13 8910


So, needless to say, this basically ended our swim day. At this point she was absolutely hysterical. I’m sure a few of our neighbors called CPS on us. She was crying so loudly that all of the neighborhood dogs were barking. It was a delicious white trash experience, and I’m so very happy that I get to share it with all you kind folk.

So here’s my PSA to all of the new mothers out there – if you’re walking down the aisles of Target and spot a cute hippo pool, run, don’t walk, the other way. If your child is teething that day, just fahgeddaboudit. No matter how much you try to bribe (i.e. please don’t cry, and I’ll buy you a Barbie car), nothing will work. Heed my warning. I’ve probably scarred little Anna for life.


The Babcock Family said...

OMG this post is hilarious. Love the photos/captions, too. Hopefully you emerge from the bowels of teething hell soon!

Jennifer said...

Ahhh yes, this was Natalie yesterday. Except we were at a public pool and eleventy billion people stared at us for traumatizing her. On the other hand Audrey had a blast.

Loving Mommy! said...

aww poor Anna -- I'm sure she'll like it once she's not teething anymore.
I have to say she looks adorable crying though.

hopeful #1 said...

OMG, you crack me up! Bummer about the pool...Poor Anna!

Heather said...

Hilarious. I guess not for Anna, but for us readers. Too bad it didn't work out, but her suit and hat are adorable!

Myndee said...

Poor Anna...poor Mama.
I think I can help- try these suggestions:

1. Throw away that PITA bathing suit. We got one like that; it sucks. I now understand the allure of the "slutty" baby bikinis. We got a baby tankini from children's place for 8.00 and it's changed our life!
2. Get a pool that you can get in with her- they're at k-mart, wal-mart, target, and they're about 25-35 dollars.
3. Drug her before swim time! Haha..just kidding.
Those first two tips really helped us get past swim time = torture. HTH!

Hamlett Daily Dose said...

Oh man, those captions made me LOL. Poor Anna!

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