Baby swim fail.

I’m a new mom. I make mistakes. Sometimes my mistakes are less than brilliant. Like today, for example. I thought it would be fun to buy a kiddie pool for Anna, have her take a dip, take some cute photos, and then call it a day. Easy peasy, right? Yeah. Some cruel and unusual person has kidnapped my sweet baby and replaced her with something similar to demon spawn. I know that’s awful to say about my child, but I have no other way to describe it other than to say the personality change reminds me of the little girl on the Exorcist. The only thing she hasn’t done is projectile barfed pea soup. When that happens, I’m calling the local priest. I have his number on speed dial for situations such as this.

I kid, I kid.

In actuality, I'm in teething hell. Or rather, Anna is in teething hell which means I'm also in teething hell right along with her. So, why not dress her up in an uncomfortable bathing suit, a hat (which she hates wearing) and put her in a swimming pool that she’s never seen. A pool that, to be quite honest, is pretty darn scary looking. Here’s the pool:

So, let's get some cute bathing suit shots before going outside. Say cheese!

So, needless to say, this basically ended our swim day. At this point she was absolutely hysterical. I’m sure a few of our neighbors called CPS on us. She was crying so loudly that all of the neighborhood dogs were barking. It was a delicious white trash experience, and I’m so very happy that I get to share it with all you kind folk.

So here’s my PSA to all of the new mothers out there – if you’re walking down the aisles of Target and spot a cute hippo pool, run, don’t walk, the other way. If your child is teething that day, just fahgeddaboudit. No matter how much you try to bribe (i.e. please don’t cry, and I’ll buy you a Barbie car), nothing will work. Heed my warning. I’ve probably scarred little Anna for life.