For Jennifer.

In my Ask Me Anything post, Jennifer asked me the following question(s):

Your most embarassing moment...

Gee, I have so many; however, I will spare you the gory details and just give you one gory embarrassing moment story - the one that still makes me blush to this day.

Embarrassing moment:

When I was just a wee lad living in Naperville, Illinois, I went to an elementary school where the kids were snobs and the teachers were mean. I can't say I have one positive memory from my time there aside from meeting Kevin Wixted aka "Bobby," Carol's boyfriend, from Growing Pains.

One day during lunch, I noticed that I wasn't feeling well. I tried to eat my lunch - vegetable soup - but I had a hard time finishing everything. I vividly remember one of my classmates telling me not to "blow my trumpet" since I'd complained that I wasn't feeling well. I'm assuming "blow my trumpet" meant "don't puke up your innards" but I could be wrong.

I didn't listen.

Shortly after lunch, I was in a math class - my least favorite subject, this is probably why. As I was standing at my teacher's desk preparing to turn in my homework. It happened.

I puked.

All over her desk.

All over the other students' homework.

All of my vegetable soup.

I just stood there in a puddle of puke trying to absorb what had just happened. Then I heard the "ewwww" and "Oh my God" remarks and made a mad dash to the bathroom. Of course I no longer had to puke - God saw fit that I emptied my stomach in front of an entire classroom of my peers instead of within the privacy of a bathroom stall. I'm not bitter.

My dad got transferred shortly thereafter, thankfully, but I imagine those poor math kids were scarred for life. They probably still talk about the day the girl puked on their math homework.

I have many more stories to tell, but I'll stop there. If I ever want to run for President one day, these stories could come back to haunt me.